Last week, I asked about special terminology that could be confusing to outsiders.   Those comments spurred me to think about humorous terminology - often quite unintentionally so.

Recently I heard the phrase again from the pulpit (usually during the "invitation"), "If you are here today..."  I know I've mentioned this before, but if they are not "here," then who is the preacher talking to?  It usually goes like this, "If you are here today and subject to the Lord's invitation, would you please come while we stand and sing."  I want them to add, "If you are not here today, then I'm not talking to you."  :)

I challenge you to listen for this phrase, as you may hear it so often that you do not even notice.

Have you ever heard anyone pray for the "Elders who have overlooked this church for years?"

My favorite common phrase in prayers is, "Be with those who are sick of this church."    I often wonder how many people are sick of their church.  :)  

It's a sad day when we can't laugh at ourselves.

What funny wording have you heard?